V for Value: Child Growth at Golden Age

Your child is your most valuable treasure. Every children are born unique, with their own potentials and characters, having no equal that could never be compared to each other. You might then wonder, How does your parenting style? Will it work with your child? How will your child end up in the future? Read this poem to consider on something to think about your parenting style!

The needs of each child is not the same, because the children's needs are different, and every family also has different parenting style. That's why, parent's response to each child is also different. There's a possibility that other families parenting style could be applied to yours. It's all yours to decide whether you use it or not.

Although nowadays it's hard to parenting your child with so many bad influences around your neighbourhood. The basic of child main education is started from the family itself.

Pictures of this!

A year old to 7 years old child's mind is like a glass of water. A bad education or influence is like a spoonful of tea water. See what's the colour of the glass if it filled with water and, let's say, 4 spoonful of tea water! Another glass of water will purify, by dropping it into the 1st glass of water, that already mixed with tea water.

If I would say that, 4 spoonful of tea water is bad educations in a day, and the 2nd glass of water that purified the 1st one, is good educations in a year. How can we purify our child's mind then, if we can't give good educations everyday in a year, with bad educations, side by side filled him everyday too!!

In a talk show with Donna Agnesia, Indonesian famous presenter, titled Child Growth at Golden Age, Donna shared her experiences caring for her three children, Lionel (5), Diego (3), and Sabrina (1), started with characters building, tips on dividing attentions to all her children, to the concept of children's education.

You may consider the parenting style of Donna and her husband, Darius Sinathrya, Indonesian actor and also TV Show presenter. Donna and Darius are Indonesian famous celebrity couple who love to share their successful marriage and family tips. Below are their tips of parenting guides, in which might suitable to be applied for your child at home.

Become Friends
With her husband, Donna admitted that everyday, she prefered to communicate with her children as a friend. So that the children are to be more open and free to express. We don't talk to our children like a child with his parent, but talked like a child with his friend, by using more simple language. As much as possible to reduce using the word don't, although sometimes it difficult to find the other words instead. If the word don't be said too often, children will become lazy to talk to their parents. Just like when the time we often had prohibited by our parents, then finally we were more open to talk to our friends rather than to our parents, she said.

Just like communicating with friends, when children make mistakes, you can ask him to talk, advice Donna. Instead of being angry with him, better if given obvious reasons when you warned your child about particular mistake. Children are now critical, they will ask back to you. Why did you forbid him? They want to know what was the reason, she said.

Be More Creative
Parents should not be less intelligent and creative with their children, said Donna. Before bed, Lionel always asked her to tell a story. If there was no book, Darius or myself make our own story, added Donna.

You should not always buy expensive toys for your children. You can create a toy yourself from what's available at home. If you can, it doesn't matter anymore, but no need to force yourself to buy expensive toys according to child's age or development. If you have to purchase it, there's a period of time that make your children not always able to play with their toys. What is important that the parents should be more creative, she said.

Family Education
Basic education is within the family itself. Although the child schooled from an early age, family is still be a source of learning indeed. Even so, she was admitted that children in early childhood education is also needed, such as preschool. However, parents have to make sure that they have a clear goal, when register their children to a preschool.

I had to send my children to preschool from the age of two, the goal is more to help him socialize, know with others and learn to share, so that he do not grow into a selfish person, said Donna.

Equal Affection
If the number of children increases, parents need to give love equally. How? Give attention according to the children's needs. At every level age, children have different needs. This is why a different form of attention between the 1st children, 2nd, and so on.

My second child is more demanding, more spoiled. How to handle him is different from my first child. Parent should not be burden with these differences of parenting style. All you need to do is to learn how you can give love emphatically. Just like when we were kids, what were make us happy to be treated like by our parents, she said.

To ensure the children are met their need for affection, it takes a good synergy. According to Donna, when she concentrated on one of her children, her husband played with the others. As much as possible avoid the child of being ignored, and always involve the older brother while you're playing with the younger brother, or vice versa, explains Donna. Parenting is not just a mother's duty, but also need a support from the father, so that children feel loves completely, and didn't feel of treating differently, she added.

Decisive Figure
In the family, a decisive figure is needed for children education. Father is playing important role here, because usually kids are more closer to the mother, so that the father emerged as a respected figure. Children should have a figure that respected but not feared. In my family, My children respected their father, said Donna. By applying her parenting style, Donna hopes that her children will idolize their father, just like she idolized her parent.

References :

Gaya "Parenting" ala Donna Agnesia
http://www.kompas.com/news/read/2012/04/13/21333094/Gaya.Parenting.ala.Donna

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